a pagan homeschooling mama blog
Yeah. I got nothing else. This would be why I haven’t been blogging. I expect next month I will start filling this blog with pictures of baby, thoughts about baby, and maybe even an update about how the midwife situation ended… But I don’t want to focus on that mess right now. I hope you like babies…. Because that’s all I’ve got on my mind!
Happy Birthday to me! I’m 33 today, and my birth kit arrived this morning from In His Hands Birth Supply! It was really simple to do- I just searched the site for my midwife’s name, and I ordered the kit she prefers. It arrived quickly too, since I ordered it on Monday afternoon!
In case you are wondering what is in a birth kit, this box contains:
So now I have to work up the courage to say “I do not want to be weighed and I do not want the scan” to my very nice midwife. I am not good at standing up for myself. I am not good at advocating for myself with health care providers. I struggle with feeling ashamed and apologetic about my size, and feel like I have to accommodate their wishes to the point that when I was in labor with Willow I would apologize to the nurse every time I had a contraction. So now, I’m trying to figure out how to deal with my fears and tell my midwife that I am refusing the scan, while also dealing with the fear that they might choose to drop me as a patient because I refuse it.
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You know what? This is my last baby and I’ve decided I’m doing EVERYTHING I missed out on. And I am taking as many damn pictures as I can to remember this completely awesome and wonderful time in my life.
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Right now I feel like all this extra me, this roundness that I lament and cry over, that I have wished away for most of my life, has purpose. I am growing a tiny person, and my body is amazing.
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Which turned into a discussion about puberty… And Patrick shouting “YES! Someday I will have tadpoles! Ooooh yeah!” (He knows what sperm is, but insists on saying tadpoles) And Willow cackling madly at the thought of Hannah “laying an egg” every month (even after I explained about the size of the egg released).
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