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A Weighty Issue

number5blog

 

I had my first home visit from my midwife yesterday.  I was really looking forward to it!  I love my midwife– she is friendly, understanding, and assertive without being pushy.  She’s always cheerful and puts me in a good mood when I see her.  She has been WONDERFUL about my size.  She doesn’t weigh me, because I have such anxiety about it…  She understands that I’m trying not to have my weight be the focus of this pregnancy.  Instead, we talk about what I’m eating and how I can focus on making healthy choices.  I look forward to my visits with her, and it has been SO NICE and stress free!  I’ve had a great pregnancy- no issues at all.  Even now at 34 weeks, my only complaints are heartburn and pressure/Braxton-Hicks.

Everything was going well, I thought, but then she mentioned that the OB that works with them looked over my chart and isn’t happy that I haven’t been weighed.

She said she doesn’t mind not weighing me- that in the past she has avoided the scale with patients with size issues (such as anorexia) and that at my size weighing me doesn’t really show the baby’s progress anyway because plus-sized women gain and lose differently, but this OB (who I have never met) has a problem with it.   At the time, I was caught off guard and uncomfortable talking about this, in fact I just kept thinking “oh God please don’t make me get on a scale”  which I’m sure sounds ridiculous to some people, but if you DON’T have size issues, if you HAVEN’T been struggling with weight your whole life and the idea of being weighed in front of someone doesn’t make you feel ashamed and anxious and panicky then you just aren’t going to understand.  And then there is the opposite- at times I’ve gotten so obsessed with the scale that there was a point last year where I would get on it throughout the day and if it showed an increase I would sink into depression and not get out of bed.

I don’t want to be weighed.  At all.   PLUS…  At this point, weighing me is useless.  Weight is watched over an entire pregnancy to see trends. If there is a fast gain over a few weeks or a loss, THAT could be the sign of something that needs to be addressed. Since they have no trend for me, nothing to compare to, weighing me now is pointless.  I don’t see why I need to be weighed, beyond checking a box on my chart and to cover butts for insurance purposes.

So as a compromise with the OB, my midwife suggested I go and have another ultrasound next week.  It sounded reasonable, and I was so relieved to not be weighed that I agreed and she called the clinic to make the appointment for me.  The rest of the visit went well, although when she tested my urine it showed some protein so I have to be retested for that and blood pressure on Thursday.  I’ve had perfect levels and blood pressure throughout my pregnancy, so I’m pretty sure the protein was from eating badly all weekend while James was home- the midwife agreed that it could be from that.  Normally, we eat really well- tons of fresh veggies and a bit of chicken, nothing but water to drink, etc.  But when James is home we can sometimes get a little lazy about eating properly.

After she left, I started thinking about the ultrasound.  And it struck me that this was very similar to all of my other pregnancies.  This is what ALWAYS happens to me, and I don’t want to start down this road again. I’ve had four babies, and everything is always fine throughout my pregnancy, even though my weight is ALWAYS a concern. I pass all the tests with flying colors: no high blood pressure, no swelling, no gestational diabetes, NOTHING.   And then with just weeks to go, they want to do one more scan to check the baby’s progress (and ultrasounds can be off by POUNDS at this point) and then that one scan shows questionable size- too big or too small. Then I have to have another scan, and then non stress tests, and then.. boom!  A push to induce early “just in case” ………………and after an awful induction experience (where up until this point I have beaten the odds and narrowly avoided c-sections) baby is born perfectly normal, but of course small because it is WEEKS early… and the OB says “better safe than sorry! At least you had a healthy baby!”

This is why I did not want to go to an OBGYN this time.  This is why I wanted different this time, and decided on a home birth with a midwife. And I am a good fit for this.  This is NOT my first rodeo!  This is my FIFTH BABY.  And despite my size, I have no other risk factors and have had four vaginal births!  There is NO reason why I can’t do this.  But I feel like if I go for this ultrasound I could jump start a cascade of interventions I won’t be able to get away from.  What if baby looks too small or too big or too something else?  What then?  Will the OB then push to risk me out?

I am afraid to take that chance.

So now I have to work up the courage to say “I do not want to be weighed and I do not want the scan” to my very nice midwife.  I am not good at standing up for myself.  I am not good at advocating for myself with health care providers.  I struggle with feeling ashamed and apologetic about my size, and feel like I have to accommodate their wishes to the point that when I was in labor with Willow I would apologize to the nurse every time I had a contraction.  So now, I’m trying to figure out how to deal with my fears and tell my midwife that I am refusing the scan, while also dealing with the fear that they might choose to drop me as a patient because I refuse it.

And I don’t know how to do that.

 

42 Responses to A Weighty Issue

  1. You say, “I have considered the benefits vs risks of being weighed and having another scan and have decided to decline both.” Do you have another option for a birth attendant if she drops you (which I personally don’t think she will)? Is she aware of your history of inductions based on bad guesses about the size of the baby?

  2. Show this to her! I am not good at this stuff either but you need to do what you know to be the best thing for you and your baby! Stay strong mamma!

  3. Major huggage. You are an experienced mother, and I think the midwife will give you support. Eff what people think about your weight, I wish you were here in the UK where you would have a lot less of this pressure on you – my midwives were amazing, and I can’t praise them enough. Breathe, try not to stress, and talk it through with your lovely midwife. Xx

  4. Have you looked into Tapping? That just recently helped me so much with anxiety-induced b/p. It may help you have the courage to stand up for yourself. It’s pretty amazing.

    You have to do what you feel is right. If they don’t like it, then you have to move on and find another way. Have you looked around for other midwife options in the area? Maybe a traveling midwife?

    Have you asked yourself if you need a midwife/birth professional? I know unassisted birthing isn’t for everyone – I’m about to birth my second and I know at this point I wouldn’t be comfortable without someone there with me, but maybe that’s something you’d be ready for?

  5. I also had five kids so I completely understand what you mean about it not being your first rodeo. You know your body and baby better than any OB/GYN, particularly one you’ve never seen! I also gained a tremendous amount of weight with each pregnancy and had to put up with the awful comments from my doc/nurses. It was just the way it went with me. I was HUNGRY, in capital letters, ALL the time. I ate well (for the most part). My kids were all really late and I allowed myself to be induced once. It was a nightmare. Never again, I said. So I had to put up with 24 hour urine collection tests and other indignities to avoid intervention.

    You can (a) refuse the scan and see what happens. If they insist, you can at least defer it for a bit. You can then (b) ask to schedule a meeting with the midwife and the doc and have a prepared rationale why your weight is not an issue with your births. The fact that you’ve done this four times successfully should be obvious. (You also have enchanting kids, btw). You might also explain that causing you needless stress is not great for the baby. (c) Remind your midwife that the reason you chose her is because she agreed to go along with YOUR plan. (d) Stick to your plan. It’s your body, your baby and your life. If you can’t advocate for yourself, then advocate for your baby. You’re really good at that! I’ve read your stuff!

  6. It can be really hard to stand up for yourself “in the moment” so to speak, especially when you’ve been caught off guard. I’d seriously consider writing in down (just as you did here) and either sending it to her/handing it to her/using it as a script for a phone call.

  7. Maybe post this very well written blog out and hand it to her– or email her with the link?
    Hugs… big big hugs….

  8. I had an ultrasound with my daughter four days before she was born. They said she was 7 pounds 3 ounces. When she was born, she weighed 9 pounds 2 1/2 ounces. Either she gained two pounds in four days or the ultrasound was wrong. I wonder which? I see no reason for you to have one at this point. I hope your midwife understands! Good luck!

  9. I’d honestly just call her and tell her your fears. Tell her that because of the bad experiences and the major chances of size being extremely off at this stage you are going to decline to have the ultrasound done. If she is a good midwife, she’ll understand and not push you or drop you.

  10. Stand up for yourself. Hate to sound crass, but , you’re the one paying the bills. It’s easy for a doctor to order unnecessary tests when they aren’t faced with the bill in the end. It’s your body, your baby, your decision. Just say no. Besides, what are they going to do to you if you don’t undergo an optional test? Thousands upon thousands of women have had babies without ever having an ultrasound..it is an optional an unnecessary test at this stage in your pregnancy.

  11. i would ask what are they hoping to find/see with the ultrasound. baby size? as a midwife she should know that is a very poor piece of info. it doesn’t usually mean a thing. i would push for an evidenced based reason for doing it. and remind her of your reasons for a midwife.
    weigh your options… is the scale worse then an ultrasound? should you meet the doctor and talk to him? should you have the scan? should you not do any of the above?
    you need to find what you are comfortable with. i can’t imagine a midwife dropping you because you won’t get on a scale or have another ultrasound… neither of these will give them a better look at what is going on with you or the baby. ((hug))

  12. Stick to your guns, they cannot force you to undergo any test or procedure that you refuse, especially if every other test shows that you are healthy. Talk to your midwife about your birthing history and about how you have been coerced into early inductions, and about how it all started with one last scan. You are so close to the finish line and you and your baby both deserve to carry the pregnancy out until you are both ready for the natural home birth that you have always wanted. You can do this, just keep believing in yourself and your baby. You will not just be standing up for yourself, but your child also, which you have a biological right to do. Good luck!! :)

  13. Sweetheart, you know your body. This is your fifth child. I’m pretty sure you know better than anyone at this point how your body is and how it will respond to things. If your midwife is as understanding as you say she is, she’ll be just fine with you refusing the scan and the scale. The OB could drop you for refusing, but if they do, it’s their loss. A good OB will be understanding, especially if they are working in conjunction with a midwife. As long as everything looks good, I’d put my foot down and tell them no. And don’t even apologize for your size or taking charge of your health. You are how you are supposed to be, and the world can either accept that or move on. Those who love you already have, as well as the massive following you have. Look in the mirror everyday and say one good thing about yourself if you have to in order to gain the confidence to take charge and say no. I had to do that for awhile until I was confident enough in myself and my size to stand up for myself. It definitely helps. Otherwise, just look at the healthy, happy children you already have and know that you already have the tools and the knowledge to add another healthy child to the mix, and to do it your way this time!

  14. My midwife always told me that they can schedule an induction, but you dont have to show up for it. Ultimately YOU hire THEM…they work for you! Thus you can refuse whatever you want. But I understand the concern about being risked out. Seeing as your midwife has expereince with this sort of thing, she may understand where you are coming from. She sounds awesome and she’ll probably work with you to find a solution…

    I am asking this question simply because it wasn’t clear (in no way to offend), but would it be possible to be weighed without you seeing the scale/knowing the number? Or is the anxiety centered around stepping on the scale in general? I’m wondering if the midwife could put a towel over the scale so you dont even have to SEE it and just record the necessary notes to save you the scan/other worries about an OB visit. Just a suggestion. I sincerely hope you find the strength you are searching for.

  15. Think of it this way…you’re not only standing up for yourself, but for your new baby as well. I know you don’t want to bring up your size and your fears to the midwife because of where it could maybe lead, but you’ll never know unless you try. Talk to your midwife, tell her everything you’ve shared with us, maybe let her read your blog and see what she recommends about the doctor she works with. I find that when you are open and honest about your fears and feelings it does work out in the end. Hugs to you!!!

  16. You can do it!!

    Try not to worry about her feelings – she’s a professional, and if she can’t deal, she should be in a different business. The OB? Hasn’t met you and can piss off. It is your right to not consent to this.

  17. I think you should do what *you* think is best. If you do not feel you need it tell her so. At this point with no complications and your own experience you could have the baby unassisted if she was rude enough to drop you because of a damned ultrasound. That’s what I think anyway. I believe in you Joni!! *Hugs*

  18. You can do this. Practice doing it in your head and see it going well exactly as you would like it to go. I’m sure you know this too but the Brewer diet can help offset the protein in the urine for mama’s who have it show up later in pregnancy. As long as you have no risk factors like continuing protein in your urine or high BP you should be ok not to be risked out.

  19. Hey sweetheart, just print this and ask her to read it. You have said it all so eloquently here, and really advocated yours and your baby’s needs.
    You can do this as you are a strong special lady. Love to you and your bump x x x

  20. Maybe you should ask her to read this post instead of trying to reiterate all of this to her. Midwives (the ones i have worked for/with) are normally very compassionate women and even though she is a kind of middle man right now- trying to please the OB in her practice (which by the way is so very rare for a homebirth midwife to even have the camaraderie of an OB!). ASk her to please read this post and THEN talk about it with her. She will hear that you fear the potential cascade of events to come and that you struggle to find your voice about these things. Sending strength and confidence your way!

  21. Good for you! Be prepared to research another midwife just in case she drops you. Don’t let a threat of dropping you stop you from doing what you think is best.

  22. Seriously, your midwife sounds like a very wonderful and understanding caregiver. The OB can *respectfully* kiss it. You’re doing GREAT and your midwife is monitoring you. Only a few (or several) more weeks and you will have a healthy, beautiful new addition! You are so brave to stand up for your right and the right of your baby to have an uninterrupted “stay” in your womb :)

  23. I agree – you can do it! YOU have hired THEM, Joni. They work for you! You are willing to take the “risks” on not having an ultrasound (and risks is in quotes because there are not really any). This ultrasound is just a hoop to jump through so that the OB has a card to show if something goes wrong. The OB is not trusting birth in this scenario – and only you know your body (and you know it’s given you 4 vaginal births with no issue). Stick to your guns. It isn’t being rude of you to say you don’t want to do it.

  24. I love this! Thank you so much for sharing so honestly. You are so awesome and empowered. I know you know what to do and just need support, and honestly this gives me so much hope as I start out on my journey towards a planned home birth! I’m in a different situation, 9 1/2 weeks preggers with my first, but scared, so scared, and don’t want to admit it. Through your questioning of your ability, I hear deep strength and wisdom, and it is just so beautiful to me to read. Again, thank you so much. Even though I don’t know you, I support you in standing up for what you know is true and right for you and your baby. I wish you all the best on the rest of your journey. Your baby is so lucky to have you! <3

  25. I saw a meme today that said “The two F words are what brought us here in the first place, FEAR and FINANCE. Once women realize they are in control of both, they will bring birth back to themselves. Your body, your choice.”

    I’ve never read anything you’ve written before, but this post really spoke to me. You clearly are right: you CAN do this, you are a PERFECT candidate for this, and you will be fine. And that you know where this is headed, and you’re not interested. I think the idea of having your midwife read this post might help. It sounds like she’s trying to balance you and her OB, which can be a hard one for her, and I’m not without empathy for her position. But I think this is your body, your baby, and your pregnancy, and expressing to her how you feel is VERY important, because as soon as you start feeling disempowered, you’re really going to become so. So stand by the choice you’ve made. Ask your midwife to back you up with your OB, showing all the other ways they know the baby is fine, especially after your tests come back again showing the protein has gone away. Ask HER what your options are, and what you can do from here. There are no other options is NEVER an option. There are ALWAYS choices to make. And “I like my midwife” isn’t a good enough reason to keep her, if, it turns out, she won’t stick up for you. I’m hoping she will though. She sounds pretty amazing, and is happy to help accommodate you where she can. Tell her about your history. Tell her about your fear, and tell her why you’re not interested in the next scan. And tell her you are comfortable with the outcome of your birth, no matter what, and that you trust in yourself, in your beautiful body, and in her wisdom and expertise, to help deliver the baby, when he/she is ready to show up, at whatever size he is, and you can deal with any issues that might arise then.

  26. You are STRONG, mama! YOu have birthed FOUR babies, and almost ready for your fifth!
    You CAN and WILL stand up for yourself, we believe in you!!
    I think showing this post to your Midwife is a great idea! Be honest with her about your fears, and stay firm! Is there someone that can come with you to help you stand your ground?

  27. I love what has been said already, and just want to chime in with total agreement. You can do this!

    I am pregnant with my fifth and am “overweight” too. Whatever that means. I had a home birth with my fourth, and was given a bait-and-switch by my midwife when I was in the home stretch. She was supportive of home birth until a week before my due date when she told me she’d been unhappy about it the entire time. THANKS A LOT.

    Whatever. I had my baby at home and everything went well. Confidence in yourself is key, and you seem to have a lot of it! All the best to you!

  28. Do what you feel is best for you and your baby. If you feel you should do the ultrasound, do it. If they push for more tests and you feel not good about it, don’t allow them to turn you into their lab rat. You can say “no” at any point. Just remember this. And trust your gut.

  29. First off I want to say, You are a goddess! A beautiful, life-giving goddess…. don’t ever apologize for your size.

    I am curious as to why your HOMEBIRTH midwife is working so closely with an OB? Is she a Nurse Midwife? Sometimes midwives will attend a homebirth but were actually trained as nurses first, which usually conflicts with how a homebirth mother thinks. Nurse midwives tend to lean more toward interventions, even small ones, because that’s what they are trained to do. If you have a lay-midwife, then she shouldn’t be working with an OB at all. If she wanted an OB as back up in the case of a transfer, that’s all she should have done. Set that up and left it as that, knowing that you are HER client and NOT the OB’s and she is NOT obligated to share your chart/information with the OB. The lay-midwife I did my apprenticeship with didn’t have a specific OB back-up that she worked with, because of the conflict in training and thinking. (She also had a VERY VERY low transfer rate in the 25 years that she had been practicing.) OBs are trained surgeons, they are NOT trained to attend NORMAL labor/birth. They are trained for interventions and don’t really know what to do with a normally progressing labor, that is why there are SO many interventions being used on women in hospitals. Then you have nurse midwives who were trained as nurses first, but also trained to catch babies without too many interventions… some will attend homebirths, some only work in hospitals or birthing centers, but they are still very medicalized. Not all midwives are they same. You may like her and she may be an awesome fit but if she is working THAT closely with an OB, she may not really have your best interests in mind. I know how hard it was for you to find someone to attend, but if she’s going to drop you for not getting a scan (something that hasn’t even been proven to be 100% SAFE, which is a whole other topic), then I would start looking for someone else immediately… and, if you can’t find one and you are absolutely set on a homebirth, then plan for a UC. I know you said you aren’t very comfortable with that because James may not be there, but it may be an option you may have to seriously consider if you want to stay out of hospital.

    If you are dropped, you could always just trust that you know how to take care of yourself, cause honestly “prenatal care” that is overseen by a provider doesn’t really make a difference. The only “prenatal care” you need, is the care you give yourself. You know how to eat well and what vitamins to take. If you need to hear the baby’s heart, you can buy an instrument to do so. If you don’t plan to UC and have no care provider, just take care of yourself and wait until you go into labor and are in very active labor, then go to hospital. When you are there and in good active labor, just refuse everything they try to push on you. (monitors, vag. exams, etc) If James isn’t home, take someone with you who you trust and who knows your birth plan and who can speak for you to tell the doctors and nurses that you want to be left alone to labor, that you decline ALL interventions unless medically necessary. You will know when you start to feel “pushy” and that’s when they can come catch the baby, but before then, they need to let you be.
    I know how hard it can be to take your care solely into your own hands, but you know your body and you know what’s best for you.
    With my youngest, I was just a little over 300lbs when I got pregnant. Other than being heavy, I was extremely healthy. I planned a homebirth with the lay-midwife in our area. I never had a scan nor did she ever weigh me. (I was really careful NOT to gain weight like I had in my previous pregnancy, and only gained baby weight). She was not concerned about my weight or seeing a baby on a monitor, since she was able to tell the baby was growing well based on fundal height and palpating. I went on to have a 43 week gestation and a wonderful labor/birth without all the “necessary” tests.

    I guess with my waffling on and on, my point is this: YOU CAN do whatever YOU want. This is YOUR body, YOUR baby, YOUR choice. Your body has proved to you that you can successfully birth vaginally. I’ll bet, with the right support, you COULD have a UC… you are certainly healthy enough for it. If I didn’t live so far away, I would have totally attended your birth. (((hugs)))

    • CNMs have to legal work under an OB – which is why they are considered “legal” in all states. Medical malpractice insurance to CNMs is though an OB, which is why CNMs have partnerships with OBs that support the midwifery thinking/mindset, but still the OB has final say over care. It is not about this particular midwife breaking HIPAA, or wanting to review all client files with an OB or that Joni was a “non-complaint” client thus the file was shared – if this midwife is an CNM she had to share and review the files of all of her clients with the OB. I know many CNMs that are not “intervention” based at all – yes, they were all first trained in nursing (which is NOT medicine!) before going on to become a CNM (which is actually a specialty type of nurse practitioner). CNMs are trained in normal birth and know how to stop problems (hopefully) before they occur and thus can hopefully stop the bad course before a major intervention is needed. CNMs walk a fine line in many places and many (if not most) do not take interventions lightly – and will only do an intervention after much consideration and discussion with their client.
      CPM’s are not “legal” in all states, and thus even when “legal” do not always work under an OB – but many do know an OB that can be use in case of back-up. CPMs train at midwifery schools and learn a very different curricula when compared to CNMs and thus their legal obligations in reference to partnerships with OBs is very different.
      One type of midwife is not better overall and in all cases or for all women. I have had friends that have had births with horrible CPMs as well as CNMs. It is about the midwife providing the care and if you and her/his mindsets and views on this really match.
      Stating that CNMs “tend to lean more toward interventions, even small ones, because that’s what they are trained to do” is a blanket statement that is upsetting to say the least as in my experience it really is not true at all.

    • While CNM’s are trained as nurses first…not all are intervention-minded. I am currently in school to be a CNM, it was the whole reason I went to nursing school. The reason I chose CNM rather than other routes was for insurance coverage in order to make home birth available to more women. I chose the school I am attending because their focus is out of hospital birth.

      I have had 5 home births myself with both CNM’s and other midwives, and actually in my case…my primary CNM was the most hands off. Truly evidence based care provider…I always refused ultrasound and any prenatal testing beyond basic blood work. She never weighs anyone unless there is a concern…she stopped routine weights years ago. She stopped routine suctioning of the neonate years ago. With my 3rd baby, my direct entry midwife panicked when I had a leak of fluids for 24 hours without going into labor…requested that I transfer since I was unable to get home IV antibiotics (which I wouldn’t consent to anyhow). It was very stressful! We had agreed that once in active labor she would drop of her supplies and return when I requested..but then she never left my ROOM.

      Anyhow..I just wanted to point out that it is the person not the title :) Finding the best fit for your personal care is key!

  30. Honestly, just because your pregnancy is perfect now, doesn’t mean that problems can’t or won’t arise in the last 6 weeks due to your size. It sounds to me like they just want to be certain nothing is wrong. I see no problem with that. You’re a strong woman. You have the right to say no, but you also have the obligation to do everything you can to ensure the health and safety of your unborn child. You could just have the ulrasound, make sure everything is okay, and then tell the OB to STFU. Why wouldn’t you rather be SAFE than SORRY? I agree that weight holds no merit since you haven’t been weighed your entire pregnancy… but I just don’t understand the dire WANT and NEED to have a natural birth experience with no OB intervention (it’s really not even an intervention, just an ultrasound) at the possible expense of the baby.

    • While it’s true that problems could arise in the last few weeks of the pregnancy, I doubt very much that any problems would be because of mama’s size. She’s had 4 other healthy pregnancies and deliveries, so there’s no reason to think that this one won’t also be healthy.

      You say it’s ‘just an ultrasound’, but there’s a lot of speculation that ultrasounds may be rather harmful to the developing baby, and the recommendation is to get as few as possible during prenatal care. She’s already had 1 ultrasound 6 weeks ago. It showed nothing abnormal, so she shouldn’t need another.

      Now, if it were me, I’d probably do the ultrasound and would have done the weigh ins. But, I’m also not a candidate for a home birth. After a late-term miscarriage and a preterm birth, I wouldn’t be accepted by any midwives and wouldn’t want to risk having an unassisted childbirth. Joni didn’t make this decision lightly. Having followed her blog and facebook for over 2 years, I’m sure she doesn’t make any parenting decisions lightly. She knows what’s best for her and her family – including the wee one who’s yet to be born.

  31. Many years ago, I knew a woman (about your age) who had successfully birthed 3 kids before she ever made it to the birthing suite. Her first was born in the elevator at the hospital. Her second was born in the parking lot at the hospital, and the 3rd was born on her front porch. When she made it to the birthing suite at the hospital before #4 popped out, the MD wise-cracked about “this time I actually get to charge you for using this room!” It’s all about the money to them.

    Does Hannah have a learner’s driving permit yet? That would be smart – you could plan for home delivery and have the back-up of jumping in the car while she gets you to the hospital ASAP if there is a problem (and you’d know it if there was). Or I could come over when it’s close to time, to be ready to play emergency taxi while Hannah stays home with her siblings. You have options, and are totally not alone.

  32. My instincts say go with your gut. I wish I had with Ariel, there was no reason for her to be born 2 months early since her only problems after being born were that she was a preemie. No weight problems, no breathing problems, nothing. But I didn’t stand my ground but I also didn’t really know some of the things I do now. I had daily ultrasounds with Ariel for 2 weeks before she was born, she was absolutely fine but I still let them take her early, cause of the whole rather be safe than sorry, if I had it to do over again, I would have refused to stay in the hospital. I say go for the ultrasound but if the baby is fine, doing the practice breathing, heart beating, moving around, then that’s all that should matter. Don’t let them say anything about the baby’s weight.

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