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Am I Mom enough? Probably not.

Time Magazine

I wish I was Super Mom.  I want to be the awesome, put together, has all the right answers kind of mom.  But although I strive to do what I think is right, I fail often enough that my teenager’s eye roll is well earned.  We are all trying to be good moms, good parents.  I mean, who sets out to be a bad parent?

When I first heard that they were doing a photo shoot and article on attachment parenting I was so excited!  How cool to have a widely known magazine tackle a subject so dear to my heart (and many of my friends’, my readers’, my fellow bloggy mamas’ hearts too!) and I couldn’t wait to see what they would do!  Today, when I saw the cover, I was disappointed.  I looked at the other photos in the piece and the mothers looked confident, calm, and poised while they fed their children.   It was a perfect snippet of what it is like to be an extended breastfeeding (or tandem) mama.  The shot chosen for the cover, however, has the mother and child posed to bait readers into feeling offended.   It was chosen to get us talking and debating and fighting….

Even the title “Are You Mom Enough” is meant to stir us up.  And of course, it worked.  The internet is abuzz with Time and boobies and “extended nursing yuck!” and “Mommy Wars” and bad moms and good moms…. And that sucks.

Whether we breastfeed or formula feed, or breastfeed long enough, or pump, or supplement…  We’re all trying to be good moms- sometimes fighting passionately to defend the choices we have made.  And the old argument of how to feed our babies is one that will always divide us up- make us pick our teams.  Are we crunchy?  Are we mainstream?  And then to widen the gap, well how long did you breastfeed for?  How long is TOO LONG?  How long is acceptable?  Is it wrong to nurse in public?

Anytime breastfeeding pops into the conversation we have started a debate.  And Time Magazine knows that. And I think I’m tired of it.  You know what?  You do what you think is right for your babies and I’ll do what I think is right for mine.  As long as everyone is growing and learning its all cool, right?  However, if you want to learn more about what I do, I’m here to help- that’s what this blog is for.

The mommy war thing is old news.

 

UPDATE:  I decided I AM mom enough.  We ALL are!

12 Responses to Am I Mom enough? Probably not.

  1. At the last family gathering, there was only one mother, with a daughter of 2 1/2 years, and she was still nursing her. And there were a dozen people

    a) telling her she was doing it wrong or

    b) (even worse!) talking behind her back how she was doing things wrong.

    And then they wonder why this particular family hardly ever shows up at family gatherings.

  2. Love your take on this. I haven’t been able to read the article yet, but the cover was enough to make me write about, well, the cover. It’s so sensationalist that people will form opinions about attachment parenting before they read the first word.

    As far as the “mommy wars” – you hit the nail on the head with just doing what we each think is right for our babies. There shouldn’t even be a debate. Everyone has their own style and what matters is that the kids end up healthy, loved and good citizens of the world. If that’s the case there is no right or wrong way to do it.

  3. I wish I could be surprised that such a prestigious magazine such as TIME would stoop to such shock tactics, but alas, I am not.

  4. Standing ovulation here (hehe)

    I too am so tired of the mummy wars. I’m Tired of the flaming and debate that goes on within real life, social media and the media in general. Great post. LOVE!

  5. Hear, Hear! Although I think it is good that people are more aware that attachment parenting is an option, I am so disappointed in the cover and the amount of hatred and ignorance that has come out of it. I will be happy to go back to the real issues at hand… How we can best support each other as mothers to heal ourselves and raise our children in an unconditionally loving way which meets our needs and those of our families.

  6. I love this! I especially love how so many mamas (including you) are standing up to say that we do not do the things we do for our kids to be better than anyone else. We simply do them to be the best that we can be. <3

  7. Yes! I will probably purchase the Time magazine (or at least try to find the article online) to read the actual article. I DO NOT like the cover as it is solely meant to make the child look HUGE compared to Mama as well as make her look “superheroish” in that stance. I say hooray to ALL moms! We all do what we can to make life perfect, or at least as close to it, as possible for our LO’s. Why all the judgement? Moms need to get over the “I’m better because I do X or Y” and just support those that need the help!

  8. Sigh, I wish someone would do a tasteful article on the subject. I think this article just made everything worse. And I learned that I’m an “extreme parent” because my daughter weaned at age 3. -_-

  9. Since I’m not a mom, and my daughter is almost 25 years old, I feel that I don’t have much room to talk here. However, I’ll say that I fully support your take on this. Our society, and a majority of the individuals of whom it is made, needs to learn to not fall for the “Us-vs-them” game. Let everyone do the best they can, help when asked, tolerate differences, and be kind. That’s the best recipe for social change that I can think of.

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