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I woke up this morning to an ankle that decided to be wonky.  I have no idea what happened, and it is freaking me out!  I can barely hobble.  Nothing makes it so very clear that you are unbearably fat as when you have only one working leg to stand on.

Last night, I was on the sitting on my bed, on the phone with the huz and it started hurting.  All of a sudden it was like a sharp stabby thing was in there, and it felt like I needed to wiggle or bend it to crack it. So I bent my ankle. Instead of cracking it just went ugggggh and then I discovered it hurts to move it. I can move it down ok (like pointing my toes?) it hurts but I can do it. But when I try to bend in the other direction, pulling my toes toward my shin it is quite painful and just won’t move past a certain point. I don’t know what the hell I did!

The huz thought if I got a good night’s sleep the muscles would relax and I would be better in the morning.  No dice.  I had a terrible time trying to limp my way into the bathroom.  Getting out again was super fun.  I couldn’t get off the toilet.  Apparently we use our ankles to stand up.  Who would have thought it?  I eventually made it to the couch, cursing like a sailor the entire way.  Let me just say, it is a long way from my bathroom to the living room.  Especially with the kids watching me and offering suggestions on how I can move faster.  My favorite one involved the double stroller and some roller skates.

People are always asking me how I can be alone so much. How do I raise four kids by myself with the huz so far away all the time?  And I laugh, because we are so used to this, it isn’t that hard anymore.  I mean, I miss my husband all the time.  I wish we could figure out a way to earn this kind of dough with him home, but the rest of it isn’t so difficult… Until I am sick or injured.  I never feel as alone and unsupported as I do when I am out of commission.  Especially now that I am so far away from everyone I know.  There is no Mom to come over with pizza so I don’t have to cook dinner.  No Danielle to sit with me and keep me company.  No Rachael to make me laugh.  No Amanda to check on how I’m doing. No Sue to take the kids off my hands so I can rest.  I feel utterly alone right now and it is a depressing thought.

Hannah is making me some compresses and I hope it helps.  Because I have things to do and I don’t have time to sit here.

My ankle fucking hurts.

9 Responses to Hobbled

  1. Hi! don’t forget all the progress you’ve made recently! Remember that you’ve lost weight, and you are a good person and you are a loving mom, and you have taught Hannah the same! What a good kid to help her mom! :)

  2. I could have written this about my knee. :( My husband is home every night, but he works 15 hour days, so he generally says goodnight to us and crashes. I don’t blame him, but man it sucks having a two year old, a flat tire on my vehicle, and no help when I’m hurting this badly. I’m sorry I have no advice, but I can sure as hell commiserate with you! Especially today! Lots of healing thoughts from a fellow Missourian. <3

  3. Like Sarah said, I’m commiserating with you very well today. Sending lots of healing thoughts from Kansas, and if you want to talk, call!

  4. mine does that a lot, when it does I have to get one of those sports braces, to even be able to hobble out for bed to the bathroom. they are about 10 bucks but are worth ever damn Penny. I had one ankle that I had surgery on that collapses all the time so i bear my weight on my other leg and the muscle and ligaments tore and i hit the ground running when it did. Mine is Futuro brand has 3 straps and air vents made for sports but works great just for getting around. Absolute goddess send

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