I’ve been blogging a long time.  Back when I started I’d never even heard of it.  I had an “online diary” which was fun and a novelty and something I thought I’d try out.  I had always had a diary when I was growing up.  I would write in it for a few days, sometimes even for a whole month-then lose interest.  Several months later I’d find it, rip out the older entries and start fresh.  Lather, rinse, and repeat.

So this all started with me wanting to actually stick to writing for a whole year.  A year turned into two, and three, and five, and now it has been seven years since I began my online writing journey.

Along the way I discovered that the process of writing your inner-most thoughts to an unseen anonymous crowd could be therapeutic and a totally freeing experience.  Up until then, I had spent my life keeping everything inside.  I had no one to talk to, because I thought my feelings wouldn’t matter, the way I looked at the world wasn’t important, and that no one would care.  I thought that I had to act a certain way to be “good”. So it was amazing to suddenly have this place where no one knew me and I could say whatever the hell I wanted.

I took full advantage. I was also newly married, extremely immature and kind of mean.

I wrote about EVERYTHING.

I wrote about EVERYONE.

I never lied, but I also never edited myself.  Whatever thought came into my head went out into a blog.

It got me into a lot of trouble.

I’ve since learned to tone it down a bit. To think about who might be reading and how what I say will make them feel.  I still like to write-in fact I am just starting to get back into the swing of things.  I missed blogging too much to give it up.  I missed recording my day-to-day life with my husband and children.  I don’t want to lose these memories.  I love my life, I’m happy with who I am (mostly-I’d like a smaller ass, but other than that I’m pretty happy) and I really enjoy sharing that with the online community.  I’ve met some awesome women, made friends all over the world (including my husband) that my life wouldn’t be the same without.

I’ve always been a blogging mommy and I don’t want that to change.  I’ve gone through my old blogs and pulled out the things I don’t want to forget.  The happy and silly parts, the memories that were important to me, and the occasional post that I just thought was a pretty good piece of writing.  I’m leaving behind all the negativity and most of the drama and sadness.  Apparently I missed a bit, which has led to some embarrassment for me today.  I will say that I stand behind my own memories and I have a right to talk about my own life the good, bad, and ugly-but I was wrong when I wrote about other family members and so I apologize. (and I’ve pulled that bit out.)

I want this space to be inviting, I want you to laugh with me, enjoy the weirdness of my life and the kooky things we do and say.  I want to grow and become a better mom, a better wife, a greener, crunchier person, and a better writer.

So I’m still going to be a blogging mommy.