05-11
2010

Inspiring Our Snowflakes…

Welcome to the May Carnival of Natural Parenting: Role Model

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have waxed poetic about how their parenting has inspired others, or how others have inspired them Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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Of all the Carnival of Natural Parenting topics I have written for this one has caused me by FAR the most problems.

And to be honest I can’t think of a good answer to the question.

It is hard to say “why yes, I am a ROLE MODEL” for this or that person.

(This might ramble on a bit before I figure out what I want to say.  I’m thinking as I type here.)

I guess I could say that I am a role model for my children.  For example, Hannah knows how to wrestle a clothdiaper onto a squirming baby better than most mothers you’ll find.  She also likes to babywear her brother, and she understands all his cries as well as I.  She has told me several times that when she has children she will breastfeed- and it brings a smile to my face to hear her say that, just as it does to my husband when he sees our five year old son stand up for himself and for those he feels have been “wronged” in some way.

A couple of weeks ago my husband wrote a guest blog about homeschooling, and in that post he mentioned how we treat each child’s academic and social education on a case by case basis.  Both my husband and I try to view each of our children, and each situation as a unique learning experience. So when one child has a problem, we say “this is how we deal with this situation” and it might be totally different for each child.  They are each so unique.  We spend so much of our time thinking about how best to help our children become kind, loving, generous and happy people.

And I muck it up a lot.  More times than I can count I’ve gone over my actions and thought about what I should have said or done…  I joke that it has taken me four tries to perfect my parenting skills.  In fact, I blogged about just that last month!

I suppose it would be flattering for my children or my fellow mothers to look at me and feel any kind of inspiration- but for me to be seen as a role model as in “someone to imitate and aspire to” just seems really weird.  I guess I try to show people that it is ok to be just how you want to be, to accept yourself for who you are, warts and all.  That is something I have only recently learned to do myself.

If I was to give any advice I would say: be kind, take a deep breath when you are frustrated, and really try to listen to your children, your spouse, and yourself.  Look at how you live your life because your children are always watching and learning.  I think those are good things to aspire to, whether you are a child or a parent.

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Carnival of Natural Parenting -- Hobo Mama and Code Name: MamaVisit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be updated by the end of the day May 11 with all the carnival links.)

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By: mamapoekie Twitter:

That’s really good advice. It seem so simple, but it’s really hard sometimes to breathe. To listen. To live authentically.

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Although I don’t have a spouse to listen to, I do try to really listen to my son. It can be tricky at times. As mothers, we can become so overwhelmed with all we have to do. Taking the time to do conscious breathing and listening sometimes gets forgotten.
Thanks for reminding us to stop and listen.

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By: Christy

I love that photo of Hannah wearing Cooper! You are a great role model to all your children. x

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I love the thought of each of your kids helping to “parent” each other like you do for them. Whenever I see Kieran wearing or nursing his baby doll, I know I’m doing something right :) (And then, of course, he bonks his playmate in the head with a toy truck and I’m reminded that he’s still a toddler ;) )
.-= Dionna @ Code Name: Mama´s last blog ..The Joys of Breastfeeding a Toddler #5 =-.

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Joni Rae Reply:

I love that Kieran nurses and babywears his dolls!!! That is awesome.

They are really good at caring for each other- it is pretty special. Cooper weighs half of Patrick’s weight- and yet Patrick still carries him around the house and fishes the “chokies” out from under the couch… Even Willow will do her best to make sure he is ok. I love my kids.

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This is fantastic! You think you’re not a role model, yet you are sharing such wonderful and heart felt advice. Look at what your kids are doing to KNOW you are already a role model to the most important people in your life.

I loved this “I guess I try to show people that it is ok to be just how you want to be, to accept yourself for who you are, warts and all. ” What better gift to share with your loved ones?
.-= Mrs Green @ littlegreenblog.com´s last blog ..You want me to ditch prepared frozen meals? =-.

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Joni Rae Reply:

Accepting myself-something I struggle with and strive for every day- and something I hope comes naturally to my children!

Thanks Mrs. Green! :)

<3

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Every time I observe my children treating each other with respect and working together to find solutions to their confilcts, it reminds me of why I choose to parent this way.

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By: Maman A Droit Twitter:

Sounds like you are being a great role model for your kids! It always makes me sad when I hear about anti-breastfeeding people who argue against nursing in public because they don’t think kids should see that! It’s totally normal for kids to see younger siblings, friends, etc. nursing! It’s great that your kids are seeing it and wanting to do it too when they are parents!
.-= Maman A Droit´s last blog ..No, Thank You! =-.

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First and foremost, isn’t that what it comes down to: being a positive model for our children and accepting ourselves for who we are, warts and all?? I think you summed it up perfectly.
.-= BluebirdMama´s last blog ..A Quiet Example =-.

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By: Sarah Twitter:

I KNOW you are a great role model for your kids. You obviously love them, and are teaching them to love themselves. I don’t think there are many other things greater that a mommy can do for her babies. Thank you for loving you kids with all your heart. Kids with strong mother’s are so much better equipped to change the world. :)

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That’s really inspiring to me to hear that your kids are emulating your parenting. What a great goal! And wonderful photo. I really hope I’ve passed on the type of parenting I do to my son, particularly if we have another.

I also think it’s great that you approach each child as an individual. I think it’s so helpful sometimes to throw what’s “fair” out the window, in terms of treating each child the same. Each child will need something unique, and that’s fine! Thanks for that!
.-= Lauren @ Hobo Mama´s last blog ..May Carnival of Natural Parenting: Role model =-.

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It’s never easy to think about how we look to others, but I think it was a really great exercise. You realized that you really ARE an inspiration just by simply being you. Your kids are the best audience ever, even if you never bump into an adult whom you’ll be able to recognize as walking in your footsteps, your kids won’t be able to help themselves. :)
.-= Jessica – This is Worthwhile´s last blog ..Paving the way =-.

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By: Amber Twitter:

I really think that if we can inspire our children, we’ve done our job as parents. When your children emulate you, and model the things you’ve taught them, you can know that they’ve caught on to what you’re doing. For me, that’s the best feeling there is. It sounds like your kids are definitely following your example, and so that totally makes you an awesome role model. :)
.-= Amber´s last blog ..Paying it Forward =-.

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I just adore you! I LOVE that your daughter is a natural momma in the making, LOVE LOVE that photo too!
.-= Sarah @ OneStarryNight´s last blog ..I’m a Parenting Inspiration, Who Knew! =-.

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I love how you spilled out those thoughts. Exactly. I sometimes forget about the little pieces I’m sharing with others. How to use a Snappy. Watching me cuddle my daughter to sleep versus letting her cry. Letting my child lead me versus busily schleping her here and there. You’ve identified that spark well–the spark you’ve instilled in your family. It can only grow from there!

Also: I’m glad you say you muck it up. Because I do too. And then I try it again. I don’t know we’re incorrigible or tenacious. ;-) We will succeed!

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By: Nina

Good post…
people get so caught up in their lives.. they rarely take the time to stop and smell the roses!

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