01-12
2010

January Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting resolutions!

Welcome to the January Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting resolutions!
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month we’re writing about how we want to parent differently — or the same — in the New Year. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

Slowing down to smell the roses and the poopy diapers

I have four children, ranging in age from a twelve year old girl to 6 month old baby boy.   It makes it hard to divide my attention up evenly.  I recently came to the realization that I have stopped mothering in each moment and instead I’m just trying to get through the day.  There is always so much to be done, and I feel like I’m letting my family down if I don’t finish everything on my list.  My goal is to get through to the next chore, the next duty, the next lesson, the next load of laundry.

The other day I noticed that when I’m nursing the baby I tend to read, watch dvr’d episodes of ‘Doctor Who’ or twitter on my phone.  I consider it my time to relax and take a minute for some quality “me” time.  But it is not- not really.  It’s supposed to be the baby’s time to learn who his momma is.  He snuggles up to my breast, pats my cheek with his little starfish hand, avidly watching my every expression and there I am glued to the TV and tweeting away.

Why am I not looking at his little face? I should be staring into his beautiful hazel eyes.  I should be tracing the shape of his eyelashes, the whorl of his tiny ears, his perfectly made rosebud lips.  This time is special.  I should be enjoying it.  Savoring each moment I get to spend with these remarkable littles, before they grow up and start their own lives.

My New Year’s resolution is to live within each moment with my children.  I want to enjoy my time with them.  I want to savor every hug, every cuddle.  Every “momma will you read to me?” is an opportunity to make a memory.  I will no longer (inwardly) sigh when they pull out the story book that is twice as thick as the one I was planning on.  I won’t rush through the bedtime ritual of songs and kisses and hugs.  This time belongs to them, and it is so important that I do not cheat them of it.

I have tried so hard to be a good momma.  I practice co-sleeping, babywearing, and breastfeeding on demand.  These are things I do to enrich their lives and help them to be happy and secure in their parent’s love.  I need to remember that it isn’t going to matter to them if I spend the evening folding laundry and doing the dishes. What they will remember is that I stopped what I was doing to give a hug, listen to a song, watch a dance, or read a book together on the couch.

******

Carnival of Natural Parenting -- Hobo Mama and Code Name: MamaVisit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(All the links should be active by noon on Jan. 12. Go to Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama for the most recently updated list.)

• To Yell or Not to Yell — The Adventures of Lactating Girl
• It Is All About Empathy: Nurturing a Toddler’s Compassion Potential — Baby Dust Diaries
• To my babies: this year… — BluebirdMama
• Mindfully Loving My Children — Breastfeeding Moms Unite!
• January Carnival of Natural Parenting: Resolutions — Code Name: Mama
• Imperfect Mother — Consider Eden
• Resolutions — Craphead (aka Mommy)
• FC Mom’s Parenting Resolutions 2010 — FC Mom
• What’s in a Resolution? — Happy Mothering
• January Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting resolutions — Hobo Mama
• Natural Parenting Resolutions — Little Green Blog
• This year, I will mostly… — Look Left of the Pleiades
• Parenting Resolutions — The Mahogany Way
• I Resolve to Breastfeed In Public More Often — mama2mama tips
• Moving to Two Kids — Megna the Destroyer
• Use Love — Momopoly
• My parenting resolutions — Musings of a Milk Maker
• Talkin’ ’bout My Resolutions — Navelgazing
• Parenting Resolutions — One Starry Night
• Invitations, not resolutions — Raising My Boychick
• No more multitasking during kid time — The Recovering Procrastinator
• I need to slow down, smell those roses AND the poopy diapers — Tales of a Kitchen Witch Momma
• Resolutely Parenting in 2010 — This Is Worthwhile

Related Posts with Thumbnails
Be Sociable, Share!

Tags: , , , ,
Posted in kids, natural parenting, parenting | 36 Comments »



Click to add your comment



KitchenWitch says play nice.
I love talking with my readers!
Once your comment is posted it becomes the property of jonirae.com. Debate is fun, and if you play nice, we’ll get along… But if you are mean, rude, or otherwise disrespectful I may edit, reuse or delete the comment. My site, my rules.

Correct email addresses are required, but will never be published or shown in comments. Please use a valid address, because I may choose to respond to you via email.
By: Mrs Green @ littlegreenblog.com Twitter:

Wonderful; someone else in the carnival said this and it’s such a poignant point – we are all time poor multi taskers and I can learn from being in the moment too. Thanks for the reminder and good luck with your resolutions!

Warm wishes
Mrs Green @littlegreenblog.com
.-= Mrs Green @ littlegreenblog.com´s last blog ..Natural parenting resolutions =-.

[Reply]



By: Liz Twitter:

That’s a good reminder to us all, Joni.

[Reply]



By: Kate Wicker @ Momopoly Twitter:

This is such a beautiful reminder. I, too, have “stopped mothering in each moment.” I want my kids to remember me as being someone who stopped to wipe their little tears, to listen to their little voices, and who embraced each interruption with gentleness. Blessings
.-= Kate Wicker @ Momopoly´s last blog ..Use Love =-.

[Reply]



By: Kate Wicker @ Momopoly Twitter:

Oops. My Twitter user name should be Momopoly. :) Sorry!
.-= Kate Wicker @ Momopoly´s last blog ..Use Love =-.

[Reply]



By: Dionna @ Code Name: Mama Twitter:

“This time belongs to them, and it is so important that I do not cheat them of it.”
So true, mama – it’s easy to forget that we are helping shape their memories. I stayed at home to enrich my son’s life, how can his life be rich if I’m not spending quality time with him? Thanks for the reminder :)
.-= Dionna @ Code Name: Mama´s last blog ..January Carnival of Natural Parenting: Resolutions =-.

[Reply]



By: Joni Rae

Thanks for the comments (and random pingbacks) this carnival blogging is fun!

[Reply]



By: Melodie Twitter:

“What they will remember is that I stopped what I was doing to give a hug, listen to a song, watch a dance, or read a book together on the couch.” These were pretty much my exact thoughts today as I stepped away from the computer, read some books, did a puzzle, watched Dora with my 2 yr old and sat and cuddled with my 5 yr old and told her how much I loved her.

[Reply]



By: Joni Rae

Melodie- exactly! I try to remember that this is it- we get a finite amount of time with our littles. They grow up and become their own people and then move on to their own lives. So I take the time for extra hugs and playtime and stories while I can. <3

[Reply]



By: Lino Rullman

Intriguing page. My friends and I were just talking about this the other evening. Also your post looks good on my old blackberry. And thats rare. Nice work.

[Reply]



By: Ruth Moss Twitter:

I think – for me anyway – there is room for balance in parenting. Sometimes it is about stopping and smelling my toddler’s head as he nurses, and sometimes it’s about putting him to the breast so I can blog, or whatever. I am going to do more of the former, but not completely abandon the latter. I do think sometimes the concept of “benign neglect” can work quite well too.
.-= Ruth Moss´s last blog ..This year, I will mostly… =-.

[Reply]



By: BluebirdMama aka @childbearing Twitter:

“What they will remember is that I stopped what I was doing to give a hug”

Yes. Exactly. If I only I can keep that in my mind more often.
.-= BluebirdMama aka @childbearing´s last blog ..To my babies: this year… =-.

[Reply]



By: BluebirdMama Twitter:

“What they will remember is that I stopped what I was doing to give a hug”

Yes. Exactly. If I only I can keep that in my mind more often.
.-= BluebirdMama´s last blog ..To my babies: this year… =-.

[Reply]



By: Paige Twitter:

Ok, you win for best post title of the carnival! :) Great resolutions. As a mom who works outside the home I often multitask when I should be focusing on my daughter. I will strive to stop and smell her hair!
.-= Paige´s last blog ..It’s All About Empathy: Nurturing a Toddler’s Compassion Potential =-.

[Reply]



By: FC Mom Twitter:

I think the attention while breastfeeding is a great place to start!
I hear you, though, on how much you give each day. It can be hard to keep up that pace. Maybe rather than stealing little moments, you can get a whole hour away every couple days- and that way, return refreshed. I know, in an ideal world, right? Just something I thought I’d suggest.
Best of luck with your resolutions!
.-= FC Mom´s last blog ..Natural Parenting Blog Carnival: Parenting Resolutions 2010 =-.

[Reply]



By: Joni Rae

I love the smell of baby hair. :)

Getting away for a bit is a great idea, but so HARD! I do get away a few times a month for henna gigs, but then I’m working- so not much me time. :)

[Reply]



By: Sybil

Aw, your family is lovely!

Being more present in the moment is a theme I found resonating through more than one blog in this carnival and I am really greatful for the reminder.

Have a fun year!!!

[Reply]



By: Zoey @ Good Goog Twitter:

Such a great reminder! I find now that my toddler is, well a toddler, I am much more able to be in the moment, because I am now acutely aware of how quickly the time goes. I believe that it is every treasured memory of her baby/toddlerdom that will sustain me when she’s a rebellious teenager who can’t stand the sight of me.
.-= Zoey @ Good Goog´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday – The Bucket =-.

[Reply]



By: Jessica - This is Worthwhile Twitter:

I should get a tattoo that says, “BE PRESENT” because this is definitely something I struggle with, too. It’s not enough to say it, that’s the super easy part, but it’s the making it happen part that makes us feel successful.

I’m really thankful for this carnival :) I’ll be digging around your blog and learning more about you and your story. Good luck!
.-= Jessica – This is Worthwhile´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday – Exhausted aunt on baby-duty =-.

[Reply]



By: Darcel Twitter:

You are my post twin! Seems we were thinking along the same line.
So happy to have found your blog through the carnival.

I would love to think that I have certain memories of my kids burned into my brain forever. One if of them breastfeeding. That is such a special time with them.

You have a beautiful family!

[Reply]



By: Damita Twitter:

Aw you have such a cute family :)
.-= Damita´s last blog ..Yet more snow… =-.

[Reply]



By: Arwyn Twitter:

It’s so interesting: I come at mindfulness from a place of wanting my own experience to be better — more memorable, yes, but mostly more serene, and really, more survivable. It’s about wanting to be a good enough parent (as opposed to an unnecessarily stressed out yell-y one), not so much about wanting to create memories for him. In as much as it does help him, I’m glad for it, but it’s not my prime motivation.

It’s just interesting that we arrive at the same desire — to be more present — from such different goals.
.-= Arwyn´s last blog ..WFPP Guest Post: Can Mama Bear Let Go? =-.

[Reply]



By: Lauren @ Hobo Mama Twitter:

I really like this. I am usually on the end of the spectrum you describe, multi-tasking like nobody’s business during all parenting duties including nursing, so even though I believe, as Ruth said, that breastfeeding can be a time to get some other things done and I like the idea of idle parenting and so forth — where is this sentence going? Oh, yes, I think those things I describe are my natural bent, so I truly need reminders like this to just chill out, enjoy the moment of his littleness, let some of the “must-do” tasks go. Thank you!
.-= Lauren @ Hobo Mama´s last blog ..Book review: 7 steps to raising a bilingual child =-.

[Reply]



By: Lauren @ Hobo Mama Twitter:

P.S. You and your family are adorable. I love all the pictures!
.-= Lauren @ Hobo Mama´s last blog ..Book review: 7 steps to raising a bilingual child =-.

[Reply]



By: Arcelia Sivyer

Hello and many thanks for a intriguing blog. I appreciate what you posted.

[Reply]



By: WP Themes

Good fill someone in on and this enter helped me alot in my college assignement. Thank you as your information.

[Reply]



By: Ebonie Moorehead

I really liked reading your post!. Quallity content. With such a valuable blog i believe you deserve to be ranking even higher in the search engines :) . Check out the link in my name. That links to a tool that really helped me rank high in google. This way even more people can enjoy your posts and nothing beats a big audiance ;)

[Reply]



By: Vigrx Plus

Brim over I acquiesce in but I contemplate the list inform should have more info then it has.

[Reply]


Trackbacks

  1. Invitations, Not Resolutions « Raising My Boychick
  2. To Yell or Not to Yell « The Adventures of Lactating Girl
  3. No more multitasking during kid time « The Recovering Procrastinator
  4. Craphead (aka Mommy) :: Resolutions :: January :: 2010
  5. Mindfully Loving My Children | Breastfeeding Moms Unite
  6. Breastfeeding Resolution for 2010 | Mama 2 Mama Tips
  7. Talkin’ ’bout My Resolutions « Navelgazing
  8. Nursing Bras Reviews – Post Pregnancy Body » Mindfully Loving My Children
  9. Good Goog » I’m Late, I’m Late for a Very Important Date





CommentLuv badge

You can add a link to follow you on twitter if you put your username in this box.
Only needs to be added once (unless you change your username). No http or @ Twitter