04-18
2010

PUTTING THE “HOME” IN SCHOOLING

PUTTING THE “HOME” IN SCHOOLING

Guest Post by James (otherwise known as “the huz”)

Why do we homeschool?

My initial answer started out as a long rambling history of our journey into homeschooling eight years ago when we pulled our daughter out of her first term of kindergarten.

But here are the real reasons…

We homeschool because we realize that we are not raising children, we are raising adults-to-be.

Because we want to take responsibility for how our children develop.

Because we want to be an active part of their education.

Because every child is different and needs a different education.

Because none of us remember 5th grade social science, but we remember that kid that bullied us.

We do not believe that just because it’s “part of growing up” it gives us permission to ignore our children’s behavior.  What part of adulthood are we preparing our children for by letting them get picked on?  Or looking the other way whilst they pick on others? Being a jackass is NOT an essential part of childhood development and is not a part of our family’s homeschool curriculum.  Isn’t it better to give each of your children such a strong sense of self worth that they will not ALLOW themselves to get picked on?

We homeschool because we believe we have a duty as parents to prepare our children for the world that awaits them as they fly the nest. And because Pythagoras theorem will not replace self esteem.  Don’t get me wrong…  I’m strongly into general knowledge, a good vocabulary, good grammar and proper spelling and sound math skills.  But that is the “school” part of it.  I’m talking about the “home” part.

To us, the development of the child is more important than fractions and sentence structure.  When you go to school, you are pretty much associating with people in your own age range.  When is that likely to happen in adulthood?  Are all the people at your office or factory the same age as you?

When you go to school you are encouraged to “fit in”, to look to others as examples of how to act.

We teach our children to police their OWN actions.  We teach them to be their own unique person, and to take responsibility for that person.  We, as parents, are the rock that tethers our children to earth.  They are encouraged to experiment, to succeed and to fail, knowing that we will always be there for them.

And that is the essence of homeschooling.

Our lives revolve not around our careers or social schedule, but around the needs of each of our children.  Sometimes those decisions are hard to make.  Sometimes you really would rather chill out with a glass of wine than go over the events of the day with your spouse and find the lessons to pass on to your child.  We have made, and will continue to make, these choices and the more we see of those children that have experienced a public education, the more resolute we are that we made the right decision eight years ago.

So yes our kids learn math and English, (along with French, fencing, horseback riding, latin, archeology, cooking, Spanish, world geography, sign language, entomology, guitar, world religion, karate, dance, typing, computer graphics and the works of Shakespeare, Agatha Christie and Edgar Allan Poe) oh and did I mention that our 12 year old can read at a 10th grade level and has a better vocabulary than most adults we know?

They also learn to respect themselves and to be tolerant of others whilst always having enough self esteem to hold their head high even when they have to deal with difficult social situations.  Not only will our children stand up for what they think is right (just try to get my 5 year old to throw an apple core out of the car window) but they actively support and encourage their friends to do the same thing.

So we homeschool.

We do it because we think the best legacy we can pass onto the next generation is that they are good and happy souls.

Because no adult is in therapy right now wishing their parents had “just made more money”.

Because we want each child to be their own person.

Because we want what is best for OUR children, not what is easiest for US.

Our children have a birthright- a promise that we gave each and every one of them the moment they were born, that they would be the focus of our lives.  We promised that we would raise each one of them to adulthood the very best that we were able and would provide them the tools and the opportunity to meet and exceed their own unique definitions of “happy” and “successful”.

That is why we homeschool.

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Well done! The next time someone asks why I’m homeschooling, I’ll direct them to this post! (because I’m tired of explaining myself.)

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By: Jeanette Twitter:

Wow, what a great post! So great to see a post from a dad who really gets it!

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Couldn’t have said it better myself.
.-= Peggy Brister´s last blog ..Spoiled kids? Raise your hand! =-.

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How in the hell did your blog comments know the name and link for my last blog post? That’s frakkin weird.
.-= Peggy Brister´s last blog ..Spoiled kids? Raise your hand! =-.

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By: Lori

I’m not a parent, but both of my parents are public school teachers, and I taught (Art) in public school for three years. It was AWFUL–for me and for my students. I wish I’d been homeschooled! I think you guys have the right idea. :) Sounds like a fantastic environment for your kidlets.

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By: Ali Twitter:

I love this post! What a great husband! Your kids are so lucky to have you both as parents.

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Very nice post!
.-= Darcel – The Mahogany Way´s last blog ..Moments From Our Week & The Outdoor Challenge =-.

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By: KushielsMoon Twitter:

So I guess I have two questions.

1. Why do you feel you need to take your children out of public education in order to give them self-esteem and teach them responsibility? I feel that my parents were able to teach me to be a unique person without removing me from the public school system.

2. Do you feel that, as a parent in general, you have a responsibility towards the entire next generation, or just to your own children? If you think that public education is not the best route for children, then do you feel you have a duty to improve the public education system for those whose parents do not homeschool?

No judgment, just trying to better understand. :-)

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Just a FANTASTIC post.

@KushielsMoon from our personal perspective, school was ALL about the social aspect. I would bring up concerns that my son was not LEARNING anything and they were dismissed by his teacher and principal (in two separate schools for both kindergarten and 1st grade). However they would call me at 9pm or even TEXT me “suggesting” I set up play dates with “parents they approved of”. Boundaries much?
.-= Sarah @ OneStarryNight´s last blog ..My Body Image =-.

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By: Tangie

Overall great post! I have a couple of cents to throw in….

The part about wanting what’s best for our children and not just what’s easiest….I’m not going to say that all parents want that, because some parents just suck, but I think most parents want what’s best for their kids. Sending your child to school doesn’t mean that you don’t care about your kid’s well-being. I think we can be positive about homeschooling without bashing the choices of others.

@ KushielsMoon….do you have similar questions for those who use private school? Why or why not?

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By: Jupiter Twitter:

Excellent reasons. These were a lot of my reasons,too. My kids are all in public school now and even though it is a great school district, I still have a lot of issues. Luckily, I have more issues w/ it than the kids do, who have all adjusted fine. I honestly do credit the years being homeschooled to helping them be the individuals they are & why they’ve been able to do ok in public school w/out conforming & sacrificing their identity.
.-= Jupiter´s last blog ..Children by the million sing for Alex Chilton when he comes ’round They sing “I’m in love. What’s that song? I’m in love with that song.” =-.

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I love the homeschooling experience!
Angela & Angelica I.
http://Groovybabyblog.blogspot.com

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By: Christy

I LOVE this!! Well done James!! :-)

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By: Lynda Twitter:

I totally respect your reasons for home schooling and it sounds like it was the best choice for your family. At the same time, I am kind of getting the sense that you feel that parents who keep their children in public school DON’T care about these things. My oldest is only 2.5 so we haven’t really decided what we’re going to do. I do know that I want all the things you listed above. I am not going to rely on a school system to teach my child and will take an active role in their education no matter what. I know if I decide to send them to public or even private schools, I will have to struggle with overcrowded classrooms, underpaid teachers and undesirable miscreants. And I will deal with these obstacles, even though I’m sure they will frustrate me, if my kids go to school.

In all likelihood, I won’t have much choice in the matter since both my husband and I need to work to stay afloat; we’re not privileged enough to be able to spend all day with our children, though it kills me it’s like that.

While I enjoyed this article, I wanted to make sure it is noted that if you send your kids to public school, it doesn’t mean you don’t want what’s best for them or won’t involve yourself in their education. It just means something different. Just because it was the right choice for your family to make, it is not the right choice for all families to make.
.-= Lynda´s last blog ..Mother’s Day Dinner [128/365] =-.

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Sera Reply:

“Just because it was the right choice for your family to make, it is not the right choice for all families to make.”

I cant help but jump in here and point out that this blog post clearly states that these are their personal reasons for homeschooling. If their reasons inspire feelings of guilt in yourself, perhaps you should explore that instead of finger wagging and asking for a disclaimer.

I also see that you added the ol’ “we’re not privileged enough to be able to spend all day with our children, though it kills me it’s like that” That has to be one of the most condescending hoity remarks I hear about homeschooling or being a SAHM. Do you think SAHM’s are wealthy privileged stepford like wives that are just “lucky” to stay home? There may be a few, but I don’t know ANY.

We make a LOT of sacrifices in order to be a one income family. I think where there is a will there is absolutely a way. While other moms have their jobs, daycare bills, cable/satellite tv, disposable diapers, pricey designer cloth diapers, designer clothes, car payments, fancy electronics, high-tech cell phones, takeout food, date nights with their hubby’s, vacations, etc etc etc…..I have a lifestyle that allows me to stay home with my kids. Is it easy? nope. Its my priority.

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Lynda Twitter: Reply:

Sera,

If my comment was condescending then so is yours. Parents who don’t stay at home have a whole bunch of technological luxuries because they don’t make their kids their first priority? We both know that’s hardly the case.

My kids are not school age, though they do not go to daycare and I am lucky enough to work at home while my mother watches them. We, too, have made sacrifices in order to allow it to be this way. Whether you like the wording or not, you are both lucky and privileged to be able to stay home with your children. I don’t see how this statement could possibly be seen as offensive, but I guess everything is offensive to someone.

I have nothing against home schooling and feel it’s admirable.

The point I was trying to make is that you CAN send your kid to public school and still take an active and caring role in their education. I know regardless of the schooling option I choose for my children, their education will certainly be my top priority.
Lynda´s last post… Oh- Bananas

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Angela Twitter: Reply:

I was going to reply here but the comments section alone and my own history of being that parent that was going to “take an active role in my kids’ public school education” would simply take up WAY too much space. I will be sure to link this post in my post and come back with a link that you all are welcome to check out.

In the meantime, no one can say you are a bad parent just because you don’t do what they do. If your kids are well taken care of, then you have already been a successful parent no matter how old your children are.

Angela Twitter: Reply:

I have the post up! Feel free to stop by! http://thepaganmomblog.com/2010/07/02/its-not-about-you-its-about-me/
Angela´s last post… It’s Not About You- It’s About Me

MamaB2C Reply:

I also work full time from home, and family watches DS (4yo) during the day. We are already having to homeschool him with K work, because he’s ready for it, but does not meet the age cut off for our schools. We teach him when we’re with him…mornings evenings and weekends. We have decided we will simply continue this way when he reaches school age.

Even in PS you have to have caretakers during the summer, if they are willing, it is possible to just continue as your now.



By: anna

Wow – I remember reading this one before – but upon re-reading I’m even more impressed. We have an active homeschooling program at our museum – would you mind if I shared this post with our homeschool coordinator? I think she would love it!

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Joni Rae Reply:

Sure Anna- go right ahead <3

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It’s not a privilege if you have to earn it. Yeah, I know I’m wasting my time, since it’s actually a left-wing codeword used because “bourgeois” sounds corny.
Freeman Presson´s last post… LilithsPriest- -BandedNagini Sounds to me like entering the deep end

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  1. Inspiring Our Snowflakes… | Tales of a Kitchen Witch Momma
  2. On Wealth and Privilege (and being a stay at home mom) | Tales of a Kitchen Witch Momma





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