05-14

2010

Stop this train- I really need to get off now.

It is just too freaking difficult to BE.

Stop this train- I really need to get off now- I think I missed my stop.

Too. Much. Stuff.

I tweeted this earlier.

I think it is pretty obvious I’m feeling overwhelmed.

Sometimes I miss the days (like early in the LAST decade) when I could unload all my feelings into my very anonymous blog out there in the not so widely traveled internetty wonderland and have a whole shitload of unknown etherfriends who would commiserate and sympathize and tell me it will be ok.

Don’t get me wrong- I still love blogging, I still love the chance to write write write and be heard heard heard (or rather read read read). But I am dealing with so much CRAP this week.

I’m really struggling right now. This was a bad week for me. I thank the gods for the loving supportive husband I have and the amazing awesomeness of my best friend Suzie. Without them I would be even worse off than I am now.

Where am I now?

I’m wandering around my house in my nightdress. At half past one in the afternoon. Half-heartedly cleaning and folding laundry. The kids ate cheez-its for lunch. I have promised myself that the very NEXT time one of them tells me they are hungry I will make them a proper meal, regardless of what time it is. I just feel TOO MUCH right now. Everything is TOO MUCH. I can’t think straight, and I’m feeling sad and alone. I miss my husband. He is such a wonderful guy- he just told me he will highlight for home and be here by next weekend- and I feel guilty because I know we need the money and he should stay out on the road but I need a damn HUG so bad.

@kitchenwitch and yet you are STILL the best wife and mother on the planet.

Love you baby.

(And we’ll fix each other, no worries!)

My husband sends me “cheer up” tweets. He loves me enough to learn to embrace social media. I feel so stupid. I have so much to be grateful for- a loving supportive husband and four wonderful, beautiful, intelligent children. A pretty little house that normally makes me so very happy… But here I am wallowing in the sucky crappy sad stuff that I can’t change at all. I know it is mostly hormonal but I am just having the hardest time dealing with anything right now.

Tags: loss, me, regrets
Posted in me | 6 Comments »

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By: Sarah

This week has been the same for me. I couldn’t deal with this week if I had kids to rely on me. I don’t know how you do it. Are you sure it’s hormonal? Because I have been overwhelmed and want the world to go away. I can’t wait for my vaca and it starts tomorrow at exactly 12:08! Sunday night I run away to CT for the week. I hope you get a vaca soon.

[Reply]

By: Erin

I’m a new reader! I can completely relate to this post.
I completely understand. I feel the same exact way. My husband, who *just* got back from a deployment has gotten stuck working a ton of extra hours. We see him for about 2 hours a day after not seeing him for a few months.
I’m just so tired of being alone. And the things I need to get done! Ugh! So overwhelming. DS and I had leftover lentil tacos and chocolate chips for lunch. The couch is so full of laundry that needs to be folded that I had to clear a spot to sit down. There is no room to cook in the kitchen because I need to do the dishes and wash the counters. I need to get out of this funk.
Hugs to you! We’ll get through it!

[Reply]

By: Merlin

Hi my friend!

I think it’s something to do with the soon-to-end Mercury Retrograde. I’m hearing a lot of people saying similar things. The fact that Uranus is about to change houses doesn’t help much.

Yes, we WILL get through it! Call if you need to bend an ear.
.-= Merlin´s last blog ..Current events . . . =-.

[Reply]

By: Lauren @ Hobo Mama Twitter: Hobo_Mama

Sorry to hear you’re feeling low. Can you let everything extra go for the weekend? Like cleaning and so on. Give yourself permission to slack? I know you’ve got the kids to care for, so I’m sorry some things won’t be avoidable. I hope your husband gets home soon! I’ve been feeling overwhelmed and bleh, just not wanting to do anything, and I’ve got it comparatively easy. But I do understand how crappy it can be to feel that way.
.-= Lauren @ Hobo Mama´s last blog ..Breastmilk as an acne treatment =-.

[Reply]

By: Damita Twitter: damita

Aw everyone gets like this :hugs:
.-= Damita´s last blog ..So? =-.

[Reply]

By: Deb

Its hard to be a parent, let alone homeschooling and having your Husband gone for weeks at a time. Let me know if you need company and/or a pair of hands.. My schedule is screwey but I can usually help some

[Reply]

KitchenWitch

I'm a kitchen witchy aspiring writer and artist. I've worn various granola-mom badges proudly: babywearing, clothdiapering, co-sleeping, and breastfeeding to name a few. I'm married to James, often referred to as "the huz" here, who was born in Tulsa, Ok and grew up in England. We have four children, Hannah, Patrick, Willow, and Cooper.

We are homeschoolers. We think its the best way to raise our children, and this way we get to spend a lot of time together.

I dream of the day when I can see my name splashed across the front of a proper book.