You might be a crunchy mama if…
If the man in your bed is under three feet tall.
If you know the difference between a wrap, a sling, and a mei tai.
If you know where to score the goods… “The goods” being raw milk.
If you have ever written a letter of intent.
If your neighbor says “don’t your kids EVER wear clothes?”
If homemade actually means made at home.
If your livestock are worth more than your car.
If you have to buy vinegar by the gallon.
If you have more that four uses for baking soda.
If you have more wraps and slings than pairs of shoes.
If your mother comes over and brings her own paper towels.
If you have ever asked for a composter or a clothesline for your birthday.
If a clothdiaper dollar sale is the highlight of your year.
If you have more hair on your legs than your husband.
If you have more henna in your freezer than popsicles.
If you consider a chicken coop to be a fantastic addition to your backyard.
If the only fast food you will eat is Chipotle.
If a happy meal for your littles is carrot sticks and homemade fruit leather.
If Nestle is a swear word.
If you have dreams to start a commune.
If you can’t remember the last time you wore your shoes… Or where you put them.
If your homeopath is on your speed dial, along with your chiropractor and acupuncturist.
If you know the difference between a “cradle hold” and a “football hold”.
If your “peekaboo” bra is for your baby and not your husband.
If your biggest bedtime decision is what side did I feed them on last?
If your baby’s first word is “boobie”.
If everyone at the party saw your breasts and you weren’t even drunk at the time.
If you know how to fashion a makeshift sling from a sheet.
If you use family cloth.
I asked my twitter and facebook friends to share some crunchy mama gems…
Ck on Facebook
If you hear someone else’s baby cry and you offer to nurse him or her, you are genuinely surprised that they aren’t thrilled with the offer!
If you go to a baby shower and wonder what on earth all that STUFF could be for!
You have a diaper sprayer on your toilet. And you use it for more than diapers.
You know more about vaccines than the doctor.
JH on Facebook
If you get an invite to a chicken pox party…
@kitchenwitch you might be a crunchy mama if you have fermented foods rotting on your counter
@kitchenwitch …. if over half of your bookmarks are vaccine safety studies or VBAC links
@kitchenwitch … if your 5-year-old is shocked to see another 5-year-old drinking root beer because she thought it was only for adults.
@kitchenwitch someone hands your baby a bottle and they have no idea what it is?
@kitchenwitch ……….. if you have a budget line for “babywearing gear”
@kitchenwitch or, the clothdiaper stash is worth more than your wardrobe or car?
@kitchenwitch …. if you have to go hunting for paper TP when you have guests because everyone in the house uses cloth
@kitchenwitch and if you are so used to breastfeeding while co-sleeping that the top to your pajamas is optional….
@kitchenwitch if you can say “i’ve been breastfeeding continuously for the past 8 years!” and you only have 2 kids.
This has been fun to put together- I’ve been laughing half the night. If you can think of another telltale sign of crunchy mamahood leave a comment and share it with us!